There can’t be a more appropriate time to address this dilemma. The lockdown witnessed society and individuals behave in ways that were beyond the realms of ordinary and in some cases far from rational. I don’t think anyone would consider stocking toilet rolls for a decade as normal behaviour! It made us all rethink what we considered essential and what simply served as unnecessary add- one. And more importantly somewhere it made us look within and face the real us – one with no makeup to hide the puffy eyes caused by sleepless nights of worry, with no masks to cover our sometimes selfish acts and no fake facade of having it all under control as you witness your house your kids and work literally all spiral out of control.
Spring cleaning took on a more intense avatar with every item intently scrutinised for not only when it was last used but if it was even really needed. Made me question the piles of barely used puzzles, games and diy activities that I loved but S couldn’t care less about! Infact when I asked him to select some of his favourite things and move them temporarily to another room for a week while I deep-cleaned his room, I was shocked to see all his “essentials” fit in one box!
It also made me wonder if the clutter in his room reflected my own constant need to ensure he has it all, even when he neither needs nor wants it. We have been doing just fine without any new additions to the toys games activities or room decor. That line between enough and excess can get fuzzy especially when sprinkled with the forever mom guilt or the fierce competitive spirit.
And this obsession with ‘more’ is not simply limited to material things. The first few days were filled with online classes, offline practice schedules, online story telling sessions, baking experiments , art and craft projects to flaunt on the Instagram – basically trying to run some sort of a strange lockdown marathon which resembled our normal schedule but on steroids! By the end of it we were exhausted. S was cranky, baby Y picked up on the overall anxiety and was having his own tantrums and I was annoyed and irritated at everything. We decided to give it all a break for a day and what a revelation it was. We were relaxed, the boys were actually quite disciplined and fun to be with and I actually went to bed feeling happy and content.
“This was a lockdown and not a motherhood 2.0 challenge”
I hadn’t achieved anything in the traditional sense of the word but instead had discovered something priceless – this was a lockdown and not a motherhood 2.0 challenge! We don’t need to prove anything to anyone, nor do we need to cover a few years worth of skills and activities within a week. Yes, the kids need some routine to feel a sense of normalcy but that in no way means that every second of every hour must be accounted for! Yes, it is an opportunity to learn a few skills but that’s what it should be limited to – a few interesting online workshops and activities maybe, and for those who want to simply play, relax and read or even watch a movie, there need not be any judgements passed either. The accomplishments of the day should be counted by the number of smiles and hugs! And applauded for the fact that we survived another day of this strange new normal with all our sanity intact.