I often hear and read about women talking about how one needs to choose between a baby and a career. It is a dilemma no doubt and when one lives in a nuclear set-up without family support it becomes an even more pronounced choice for the mum. I recently attended a seminar organised by MyCity4Kids about the first 1000 days as a mother, and it was amazing to see how similar and yet so different our journeys has been. Though one most popular theme that each one resonated with was the complete surprise at how our lives just takes this 360 degree turn overnight! I mean one minute you are this high-flying corporate executive all ready for the next big promotion and the next you are suddenly a mom! Hurting all over from the entire experience of child birth, expected to be an expert at feeding the baby and most of all some sort of a zombie who needs no sleep EVER.
While the overwhelming emotion of holding the little bundle of joy cannot be expressed in words, once baby S and I started getting comfortable with each other and settled into some sort of a routine, I couldn’t help but wonder whether this was the end of the road for my career. With a few month old baby and living in a nuclear set-up, I couldn’t possibly return to a high pressure 4 day travel job with long hours. While I enjoyed and cherished every moment with my little angel, I had started questioning my future, my identity beyond being a mum. I tried to take my mind off all these thoughts and started pursuing hobbies that I loved but somehow never found the time to actually pursue. I found an old diary from college days and started to slowly fill in those empty pages. I started penning my simple every day experiences as a new mom- the joys, the anxiety and the surreal feeling of watching my little wonder reach every adorable milestone. Soon the diary gave way to the blog and other professional writing opportunities as well as platforms where I could share my journey with other moms! So yes I was not wearing my formal suits or number crunching or lining up for promotions, but I was able to make my passion my career. I’m still figuring out my way around this new territory, understanding its potential, but one thing I know for sure is that I am no longer wondering about my identity or waking up not wanting to go to work. I can finally say I love my work and the one person I have to thank for this the most is my little inspiration -my baby S.
I know they are probably many other mums who are going through a similar transition- wondering how their lives suddenly changed completely and anxious if they’ll ever be able to fit those pieces back to create their own identity separate from being a mom. Who defines what a perfect career or a job is? Hang in there and enjoy this process of nurturing the little wonder that you have created and let go of the prejudiced and biased definition of what a successful career should be. The moment you open your mind to possibilities, you’ll see the magic unfold. Instead of thinking about this as a professional set back or a break, we can look at it as this amazing opportunity to discover our true calling. Thank you baby S for teaching me that its okay to slow down, take a deep breath and start all over again!
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